Joanna Markham: Mid 20s - Mid 50s - A sophisticated woman. She is married to Philip Markham, head of the house. She is being pressured to let her flat out to her friend Linda.
Alistair Spenlow: Mid 20s - Mid 30s - London's latest fashionable interior designer; a virile male lurks beneath his artsy, camp exterior. He removes his trousers and stands in his colourful underpants; he may be shirtless. Is Frustrated by the Markham’s as he is trying to re-decorate the flat.
Sylvia: Early to mid 20s - Mr. and Mrs. Markham's gorgeous Swiss au pair with a hearty accent; she becomes the focus of Alistair's attention and appears in a short nightie onstage. She is smitten by Alister.
Linda Lodge: Mid 20s - Mid 50s - Joanna's friend and Henry Lodge's wife. Vivacious and slightly scatter-brained, she is tired of being the only faithful partner in her marriage. She needs Joanna’s flat to have a fancy man for a few hours in the bedroom.
Philip Markham: Mid 20s - Mid 50s - A children's book publisher and Joanna's husband, Philip is a pleasant and studious man with a worried air which comes from years of being on the losing side of life. He is very conservative and old-fashioned. He reproofs his friend, Henry about his behaviour with women.
Henry Lodge: Mid 20s - Mid 50s - Philip's successful business partner and married to Linda Lodge. He is full of masculine confidence and swagger and is a bit of a lecherous dog. Henry brags to Phillip about his conquests with women.
Walter Pangbourne: Mid 20s - Mid 50s - Linda's new love interest. Walter is a stiff, slightly stuffy and conservative businessman. Walter thinks he’s meeting Linda.
Olive Harriet Smythe: Mid 40s - mid 80s - An eccentric, dog-loving, imposing, no-sex-please lady with a somewhat butterfly mind. Miss Smythe is a very successful author of children's books who is looking for a new publisher. She has arrived with her “Bow Bow” books hoping they will be published by Mr Markham.
Felicity Jane Wilkinson: Mid to late 20s - A phone operator and Henry's new love interest. A bit on the kooky side, Felicity wears large horn-rimmed glasses and is quick to strip down to her underwear. Runs around wrapped only in a sheet. She ends up with the wrong man but doesn’t know it.